Putting Everything In Perspective

I have been back at work for two weeks and I am happy to report that, on the whole, I have been very good at taking care of me.

Work has been very hectic as there has been a lot of organizational change. My boss (the CMO) along with the CFO resigned the week before I got back and I had three resignations in my department since I got back to work. But, rather than stress out about it, I have been taking everything in stride. I have been working fairly long hours but they are not stressful and I have been the one making the decision to stay late if I need to. I have been getting to bed between 9-10PM every night, eating well and exercising.

My first chemo cycle has been pretty uneventful. I think my body is in a bit of shock that we are "back to chemo again" but, with the exception of 1 really tiring day, I am feeling really healthy and strong.

I have my "port" outpatient surgery scheduled for this Wednesday and I am really dreading it. For those who don't know, a port is a medical device that is inserted into your chest (right above your breast bone) and it makes it easy for the nurses and doctors to take blood and administer chemo on a regular basis. Since I don't mind needles, all of my chemo and bloodwork has been through the veins in my arms but most of my veins have had it. The last few chemo cycles have been very hard in that the nurses can't find a good vein. EVERYONE I know who has ever had a port says it is the greatest thing in the word. It doesn't hurt at all and it makes chemo so much easier. It looks like a little bottlecap in your chest and most people hardly notice it. I have been resisting it for a long time because I don't want yet another scar. However, I realized that I need to get over my vanity and accept that this is the right thing for now. The Dr's will keep the port in for the remainder of chemo and then I will have quick outpatient surgery to remove it.

Dave and I got a real treat last weekend when Eric, Missy, Samantha and Ally came to visit from Chicago. Although they were only in the Big Apple for one night, we packed A LOT in. We went to Dylan's candy bar, John's Pizza, Central Park, the M&M's Store...and we still had time to watch High School Musical 2 in our apartment. Having the family visit really lifted my spirits as I was feeling pretty tired from the chemo. It also puts everything in perspective. Visits with family and friends always remind me why I am going through all of the chemo and surgery to begin with...so that I can continue to stay alive and interact with all of the people I love.

I will write again after my port surgery.

Taking Care of Me

It is Sunday night and I am getting ready to go back to work tomorrow. I am looking forward to getting back to my "normal" schedule but I need to make sure that I continue to prioritize myself.

This became very clear when I met with Dr. Maki this past Friday before I started chemo again. I asked him how much longer I would be on chemo and his answer was "long". I asked him the question that I have been thinking about the most lately; "Since the tumors were removed with surgery and you can no longer 'see' any cancer cells on a CT scan, when will you know when to stop with chemo?" His answer was honest but not cut & dry. He basically said that he would like to keep me on the chemo for up to a year...based largely on how well I handle it. If I get run down, tired, have bad side effects etc., he will lower the dosage or take me off chemo completely.

The good news is that I have already tolerated a great deal of chemo and there is no reason to believe I shouldn't continue to do so. However, I am acutely aware of the fact that now, more than ever, it is REALLY important for me to take care of myself.

I can't control it if I have bad side effects due to the chemo regimen but I can control my general health (what I eat, how much I sleep) and my stress level (how much I work etc). I made a vow to myself tonight that no matter what is thrown at me as I get back to work, that I will make myself #1. This entails:

• Sleeping well (between 8-9 hours a night). This means in bed by 9:30PM
• Eating well - healthy, "pure" food with nutritional value and smaller meals more often rather than big meals that give me stomach aches.
• Exercising - listening to my body and tailoring my workouts to my energy level rather than what my head wants to do
• Manageable Work Hours - This means leaving work at a decent hour, learning to delegate more, and realizing that "not everything needs to get done immediately"
  

I am really hoping that I can keep my word and manage my health and my stress levels.

Cancer is quite ironic...it's hard to believe that I made this vow to myself so that I could continue with chemo for as long as possible. But, I want to make sure that I have done everything I can to beat this disease for once and for all.

Please help make sure I am keeping my word!

Just what the Dr. Ordered...Another Week at Home

Dave and I met with my surgeon on Thursday and he ordered me to stay home for one more week. Part of me was frustrated with this news and the other part of me was a bit relieved. I am anxious to get back to things as I am going a bit stir crazy in the house but, given that I have had lots of bad stomach cramping and soreness, I agree with him that I am not "back to normal" just yet. Because all of your internal organs are "removed and put back together" during surgery, it can take a month or so until everything is working well again. Basically, your stomach is confused and is trying to re-route its path. So, I am home for one more week.

Dave and I met with the development team at MSKCC this past Wednesday to talk about the future of Spin4Survival. The event is near and dear to our hearts and we have a lot of energy to make it even bigger and better for 2008. That being said, it requires a lot of time, work and resources. We believe we have the right business model but we need some "expert" assistance to really make this event take off (e.g. organizing rides in more than one gym, perhaps events in other states). We were thrilled to hear that MSKCC wants to partner with us to make this event a success! They will be helping us with the event for 2008 and then, ideally, for 2009 and beyond, we will form a committee and MSKCC can help make the event national in scope! Dave and I were thrilled to hear that the hospital likes the idea so much and we are very excited to help make this vision a reality.

Although I am still recuperating, Dave and I were able to go to Newport and celebrate the wedding of our dear friends Kelly and Vishal. They got married at a beautiful mansion and the weather was perfect. The wedding blended Christian and Indian traditions and it was so, so great to catch up with good friends.

Chemo starts again this Friday so I will be trying to rest up for it this week. I will find out on
Friday what my oncologists plans are in terms of how long I continue with the treatments and I will keep you posted on my next blog.